With love,
Adrienne
Start Date: May 11, 2025
End Date: May 11, 2025
Week One: Sunday, May 11, 2025
Week One came in a hazardous jumble of chaos for me. Since I’d gone through the Artist’s Way once before, I felt that the exciting novelty of starting something new had worn of and all that was left was the nakedness of my relationship to commitment. The idea of showing up in my imperfectness as a way to build resilience keeps gnawing at my ankles, yet my resilient and devious younger middle school self continues to find ways to sabotage this sector of personal growth. Curious. I was able to complete all the pages since I had the muscle of “finishing” my writing to the edge of the page, and my thumb muscle had remained toned enough from last year’s pages - less cramps this time around. This first week I noticed an extraordinary difficulty in sitting still - I finally lasso’d and wrangled myself to a chair this first morning after misbehaving and self sabotaging through doom scrolling, procrastination, distraction (at ths point I’m almost at the level of mastery of a slight of hand magician the way I can excuse myself out of tasks). But once seated, I felt the sensation of anxiety pour in like a hot metal, cast into the frame of my body. Some inner part of myself protests this stillness, desperately sending off its last hail marys in the form of excuses. “I need to write these pages but actually it’s more important that I write this email.” “Shit I forgot I need to call my mom let me do that really quick.” Or, perhaps it presents itself as distraction and redirection in the form of linear confusion - “W ait a second - should I do movement before my pages? Or after? Maybe I need to stretch but then what about brushing my teeth?” It’s no doubt that these difficulties carry a heavy and intense emotional and weight inside my nervous system. At the same time I realize that I have a choice and am fully capable of making things easy for myself by letting myself show up imperfectly. Something completed is better than the idea of something perfect.
Week One Standouts:
Quotes:
Week Two came with logistical hurdles.